More Guilty Pleasures

From Lost and Frowned:

McDonald's french fries
Picking scabs
Black tar heroin

Urban youths test their street cred with MC battles. This is what happens when dopey white kids go at it in an IM battle.

IMer #1: you're bad news anyway

IMer #2: i'm fucking sunny forecasts the week through bitch

IMer #1: you're a car accident where white babies die

IMer #2: you are a iranian sandstorm producing muslim upskirts

IMer #1: you're the high-heel on my maple syrup covered balls

IMer #2: you are the homeless twin shit stuck to my shoe

IMer #1: you are the toothless blowjob west Virginia cousins give each other

IMer #2: you are the rapist of donkey horse hybrids...which makes you a mule fucker

IMer #1: you are the shit-cake on your boyfriend's cock after he's anally-excavated his dying father on life-support

IMer #2: you are the placenta of a retard buried in the dirt during a buddhist ritual

IMer #1: you are the lactation of a pregnant AIDS crack whore in harlem who masturbates with rotten vegetables

IMer #2: you are the sold into slavery fluffer in a vietnamese boy-on-boy porn called CHARLIE'S angels

IMer #1: you are the fat girl with a yeast infection and painful urination, alone on prom night

IMer #2: you are the barium enema shoved up liza minelli's ass when she goes to the ER for vicodin induced constipation

IMer #2: ok, you win

Guilty Pleasures

With a tip of the sombrero to Entertainment Weekly, here's a list of guilty pleasures enjoyed by one, decreasingly lazy LasagnaFarm contributor. Full disclosure: Does not include Daily Candy, Page Six, Gawker, US Magazine or EW itself, which said contributor does not feel guilty about in the least, or Flashyourrack.com, which he does. Send in yours today.

Fetuccine Alfredo
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers' "Damn the Torpedos"
Marino's Italian Ices (lemon)
Chuck Barris' was-he-or-wasn't-he bio, "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind"
American Chopper
Dave Barry
The New York Sun
The Weekly World News
Supermarket Sushi
Hot Rod Magazine (the one about cars)
Cheez Wiz
The Sunday Styles section of the New York Times (wedding announcements included)
The first four Iron Maiden albums: Iron Maiden, Killers, Number of the Beast, and Piece of Mind (plus the live one). Excluding the songs, "Quest for Fire" and "Sun and Steel," for which there is guilt
Goat Cheese
Nick Hornby books
Mr. Ed reruns
Staples (the office supplies store)
Paradise Hotel/Temptation Island

Law & Order and Law & Order and Law & Order and Law & Order

I saw the season premier of Law & Order the other night. Man was it good. I don't want to spoil anything for you, so if you missed it don't worry, I TIVO'd it with my Time-Warner doppelganger. I think I succumbed to the pre-show hype (not to mention its lead-in was The West Wing, which is my favorite show and makes me do all sorts of funny things), because it wasn't until the first commercial break that I realized season premiers of Law & Order were almost an oxymoron. The point of the best is, in fact, that they're all the same. Thus, our children for generations to come will be able to watch them in perpetual syndication. (I'd like to remind the world, not to take anything away from L&O, but Kojak, Starsky and Hutch, Columbo, Rockford Files . . . they were all like this; no story arcs, just stories.) Anyway, if you missed the season premier, it'll be on again soon, somewhere on the TV dial. Ain't it beautiful.