Finally, an apt metaphor for NY dot-commers circa 2001-2004. I feel worse for the bird -- he even looks pissed.

Kid Lit for Hire

With just about every celeb in, er, celebtopia attempting to expand their brands into the children’s book market, we at the Farm thought it would be a perfect time to pitch a bit of kid lit we’ve been working on for several years. We’d even consider a licensing deal – for a few hundred thousand, a literacy challenged celeb could put their stamp on this here guaranteed smash (Mickey Rourke, are you listening?). Check the set-up:

A cigar-chomping mama’s boy named Fritz discovers his common-law uncle is really the daughter of a friend’s dad’s accountant. Dejected, he sets off for Cleveland in a Rupp go-cart with his favorite pets, an ocelot named Betsey and six million head lice, named after sections A-Q of the Los Angeles County white pages. Will he find true love in the truck-stop bathrooms of the Midwest? Or will his dreams turn to tragedy when a shard of Heath bar from a TCBY waffle sundae becomes lodged in Betsey’s esophagus? Turn the pages and find out!

It’s a guaranteed, broad-appeal winner! Publishers: Contact my agent if you’re interested.

I'm getting too lazy to even read blogs these days. So I've collected links for people like me... with super dee duper short attention spans. See Jefke for an AOL thingy that does stuff with words that make you seem dumb (aka young)... see Dynatrite for top comedy specials about a group of friends in Lower East Side NYC where all the world is their playground... this Slate diary entry is pretty good stuff about the weird Japanese world that is Japan... May The Best Word Win is a pretty good story from The Next Big Thing about getting wordz into the dictionary: trustafarian, etc.

Heeeee....