Kid Lit for Hire

With just about every celeb in, er, celebtopia attempting to expand their brands into the children’s book market, we at the Farm thought it would be a perfect time to pitch a bit of kid lit we’ve been working on for several years. We’d even consider a licensing deal – for a few hundred thousand, a literacy challenged celeb could put their stamp on this here guaranteed smash (Mickey Rourke, are you listening?). Check the set-up:

A cigar-chomping mama’s boy named Fritz discovers his common-law uncle is really the daughter of a friend’s dad’s accountant. Dejected, he sets off for Cleveland in a Rupp go-cart with his favorite pets, an ocelot named Betsey and six million head lice, named after sections A-Q of the Los Angeles County white pages. Will he find true love in the truck-stop bathrooms of the Midwest? Or will his dreams turn to tragedy when a shard of Heath bar from a TCBY waffle sundae becomes lodged in Betsey’s esophagus? Turn the pages and find out!

It’s a guaranteed, broad-appeal winner! Publishers: Contact my agent if you’re interested.