Logo No-Go or Maximum Hospitaliano?
Certain individuals have commented on how the delicious-looking slice of lasagna within the LasagnaFarm logo does not much look like lasagna. Several folks have remarked that it looks more like strawberry shortcake or -- and I will overlook the obvious cultural insensitivity here -- piles of poker chips covered in the blood and brain bits of a felled mobster. For the record, I think it indeed looks like delicious lasagna, slathered with delicious cheese and equally delicious sauce. In fact, looking at the logo, I am yearning for a piece of lasagna right now. (If I hadn't already had Indian food for lunch, I might go out in search of a piece.) But I will concede to those purists who point to the lack of well-formed waves of pasta, layered with ricotta and meat sauce as evidence of weak lasagna imagery. I'll admit that, in certain lighting, it may look sort of like "mock lasagna," with symmetrical piles of Ritz crackers, cream of mushroom soup, and some combination of salsa, ketchup, and Redi Whip. But that's it. Consider it a comment on lasagna if you wish; an abstraction born from the essense of lasagnaness writ, er, small. Whatever. It stays, deliciously yours.

LasagnaFarm.com is mulling over the idea of publishing a CD or various material for fans’ perusing. Such a CD will contain things like songs (sung beautifully), a dozen photos that you can add to your own personal stock photography collection, a handful of cover letters we’ve submitted to jobs (with no response to any of them we assure you), and a story that will be both original and good. Other things will be added as we see fit. If you’d be interested in such an item, keep an eye on this space or preorder by e-mailing gotoguy@lasagnafarm.com.

Free polls from Pollhost.com

Which is the most adorable Olsen twin?

Mary-Kate   Ashley   Wa Wa   Merlin   Mohammed Saheed al-Sahaf

Has MICHIKO KAKUTANI lost her mind?

She reviews Candace Bushnell's new book in the voice of Elle Woods from "Legally Blonde."

I get to meet Lockhart tonight! I get to meet Lockhart tonight!

More Mary-Kate and, er, Wa Wa?

Internet Market Research Reports Retooled to Fit the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson AOL Teen Advice Column

JucyFrut85: I really want to be popular, can you show me how to meet expanding e-mail support volume cost-effectively while increasing customer satisfaction? Will I need to broaden my technology base? Which vendor should I choose? I'm like so upset about this.

Mary-Kate: That is such a great question! Jupiter projects the e-mail automation portion of CRM spending will increase dramatically between 2002 and 2008. You are so smart to want to tighten your e-mail operations without making your homeroom buds feel icky about their customer experience. Don't be afraid to try new technology! Be yourself! No one can make you feel bad about not having the latest natural language (NL) search functionality. No one, that is, except you. Choose a vendor who likes you for who you are, not for your capital expenditures. Remember, those whose technology spend is the greatest often end up miserable for choosing some vendor because he was popular, and he ended up being a real jerk!

Tick, Tock, and You Don't Stop
Since starting a job in Hoboken, I’ve come to realize that Jersey people party harder than any others. It shames me to say this, but it’s true. (Must be how they cope with their depression about not living in NYC.)For instance, this morning, juggling cheap coffee, the latest Entertainment Weekly, and an umbrella (personal size, not giant-golf-player size), an … er… endowed girl gets on the PATH wearing sunglasses and with her Calvin Klein shirt buttoned up … er… wrong. She nuzzled her streaked-makeup-face close to her super grande Starbucks coffee and sunk low into her seat. Clearly this belle of the ball had been out all night. And this was not the first of her ilk I have seen. These zombies doing the Ride of Shame are a regular occurrence. I knew Jersey was some sort of frat-boy/sorority-girl way station to adulthood, but these people make Eddie Furlong look like someone you’d bring home to mom.

You Wanna Greenpeace a' Me?
Send lawyers, guns, and money! Humanitarian aid! St. Bernard dogs with brandy kegs! -- I'm trapped in my office: There are like 20 Greenpeace kids terrorizing passersby outside my building, and they're not kidding around. They're more tenacious than Trinidadian street cops rousting low-caste urchins. I saw one guy flailing his arms like a windmill to thwart their advances. They just laughed and sliced his jugular with the side of a pamphlet on genetically engineered wheat. It's a really bad scene.

Cheetah!

Sitting in Madison Square Park, June 16. Eyes Closed

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