PEPPY LE PEU, REIMS, GOOGLE: OUR CULTURE WILL GROW LIKE FUNGUS!
French president Chirac tired of being shellacked by U.S. tech.

AMERICANS ALL CLOGGED UP BY HUGE LOADS
You don't have no ice cream.
You didn't get none.

Cause your father's on da welfare.
You can't afford it.

WE FIGHT TERRORISTS IN CYBERSPACE SO WE DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM IRL
G-men schooled by wormy us-haters.

CRONY, CRONY BO BRONY BONANA FANNA FOE FRONY FEE FY MO MORONY, CRONY! NAFIE, NAFIE BO BRAFIE...
Egyptian media tycoon makes millions illegally

KATRINA AND THE WAVES SUCKS AND BLOWS, SURGES OVER THE RESERVOIR TIP
Oil prices rise when the wind blows

I, CRINGING: RECKLESS PREDICTIONS RUN AMUCK RE: GOOGLE
PBS: Costra Nostra-no-duh-mus

GENERAL DYNAMICS BLOWS UP COMPETITION IN WINNER-TAKE-ALL CONTRACT CLUSTERFUCK
Midwest to turn into giant DMZ

GENERAL MOTORS: I WISH I HAD A DIME FOR EVERY DIME I HAD
Most of GM's paycheck goes to child support, none left for beer.

CHINA TELECOM DEFENDS GLOBAL BATTLE STRATEGY AND RETURNS FIRE LIKE AN M6 BRADLEY LINEBACKER AGAINST CLAIMS OF MILITARY TIES
M6-BL specs not exactly relevant here but still pretty cool

BA: THAT DARN CATERER!
Provider of world's best/worst airline food in jeopardy.

AUSSIE MINING GIANT DRAINS THE MAIN VEIN
Essential minerals and oils to lubricate the bottom ... line

FRANCE, BELGIUM SAY "NOH!" TO THIRD-WORLD AIRLINES
Gravity bait unwelcome at countries' airports.

VERIZON WIRELESS BROADBAND TO BECOME 25% LESS "NOT WORTH IT"

HELTER SKELTER TAX SHELTER MELTER
KPMG to pay $456 million to wealthy world power gov't

MECHANICS UNION SPLIT BETWEEN GREEDY AND LAZY
No consensus with music and appetizers at fundraiser in downtown Detroit bar

THE HALLYU HULLABALOO: KOREAN TV DRAMAS: MAKING RACISM SAFE
"Who knew Koreans were so refined and sophisticated?"

NO SHIRTS, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE
80 million Chinese tank tops stopped at EU border