Things I've said to Mary Tyler Moore That Pissed Her Off

Neil Simon's not the only one to make Mary Tyler Moore storm out of the room in anger. At least he had the best interest of his play at heart. I, on the other hand, was just being mean when I, over the years, threw verbal sand in her doe eyes. I'm not proud. Here are only the ones I can remember.

1961: "I know he seems like a nice guy, but when Dick Van Dyke looks at you, all he's thinking is 'liquor cabinet.'"

1967: "Grant Tinker? Honey, with a name like that your husband better be hung like Sasquatch."

1972: "Maybe you can turn the world on with a smile, but it took me a six-carat tennis bracelet and a half-ounce of Beluga caviar just to get your top off."

1981: "Bravo on the Best Picture Oscar. You playing an ice bitch? Who would have thought it possible? Oh, yeah. Me."

1984: "Oh sure, you're a social drinker. And Betty Ford is just a president's wife."

2001: "Celebrity sponsor of the Great American Meatout? If you ask me, it's too little too late, sister."

Thanks to IMDB.

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