Startling Information Revealed after Lengthy Interrogation of Saddam Hussein

Used remainder of weapons of mass destruction to solve palace water bug problem.

Believes Jonathan Franzen really went overboard on the whole Oprah thing.

Admitted gassing of Kurds just an unfortunate result of leaving windows open while cleaning palace oven.

Thinks Tel Aviv "really swung" in the mid-70s.

Considers Ali Hilfiger definitely not as cute as Jamie Gleicher.

Admitted to liking Big Black, but thinks Steve Albini is a very scary individual.

Fathered a love child with Strom Thurmond.

Found to be linked to Osama Bin Laden via Donald Rumsfeld on Friendster.

Thinks Liz should never have left Gawker.