Ex Rainbow Ex Machina

Imagine the shortest 13-year-old kid in black poly cotton and shaved head you'd ever seen. Picture him being led hither and yon across the punk-rock troposphere by a cadre of underfed 8th street record store clerks. The Clash? Yes. Bad Brains? Yes. Iron Maiden? Well, ok. Richie Blackmore's Rainbow? Get the fuck out of my store.

And so I went. Back to the suburbs, where it would be years before those bastards had me in their flexuous clutches once again (and even more years before I'd again see the inside of a barber shop). Who needed those assholes? I had Rainbow's "Straight Between the Eyes" on my cheap stereo, the soaring pipes of Joe Lynn Turner flooding my poster'd bedroom with the majesty of rock.

Now, imagine my surprise as I'm reading the Arts and Entertainment section of the Observer. Sonofabitch! It's ol' Joe Lynn back for an encore.