Revelations About US Counterterrorism Efforts Free Press Editors Removed from Richard Clarke’s Book Against All Enemies: Inside America's War on Terror as Irrelevant

In October, 2000, during an emergency meeting to discuss possible military responses to the deadly bombing of the USS Cole, National Security Advisor Sandy Berger inadvertently referred to the President as “George Clinton,” to which Clinton joked that the name of his own funk outfit should be the "Congressional Funkedelic." He went on to invite those attending the meeting to make his funk the "C-Funk." Clarke noted that several staffers responded by saying, "Yes, yes. Very funny, sir."

Six months before September 11, 2001, the FBI intercepted a telephone conversation between suspected terrorists Ruth Lessing, of Massapequa Park, NY and her sister-in-law, Doris Oppenheimer of Lawrence, NY, in which Lessing proposed meeting at a local ice cream establishment to discuss plans for an upcoming trip to Boca Raton, FL. Further analysis of the conversation revealed that Lessing, 59, was feeling slightly “headachy” and that “there wasn’t enough butter pecan ice cream on all of Long Island” to satisfy the cravings of husband, Lew, 61.

Prior to military action to depose Iraq’s Baathist regime, President Bush sent a memo to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to the effect that under US occupation, Iraq’s national anthem should be changed from, "Iraq! Iraq! Irradadadadaq!" to "Bush! Bush! Very, Very Good!" The memo went on to note that, "The anthem should reflect the liberation efforts of our fighting men and women, and those of their leader," and that, "a little God-given English wouldn’t hurt no one, neither." (Are you serious? Next time, call research and find some actual Arabic. Another thing: no more obvious Bush-as-Texas-redneck jokes please, that's older than the fake editorial comments device. In fact, clean out your desk. – ed., LF.com.)