Nostalgia Bait: Lessons Learned From NYC in the 1980s

Quality-of-life crimes are the most fun.

As windshield-cleaning solvents go, there are worse choices than urine.

Muggings are just a city’s way of thinning the herd.

Nothing says, "get the fuck out of here" like "get the fuck out of here."

Compared to crackheads with box cutters, drunks with guns make pretty darn good party guests.

A beer can covered with a paper bag is just a soda.

Traffic tie-ups are just God’s way of saying "where do you think you’re going?"

Never buy pot from a white guy with a mustache, even if he’s wearing a hoodie.

When you wish upon a 2nd Avenue subway line, your dreams stay false.

Long Island is just God’s way of saying "your parents aren’t always right."