Rejected Sentences from My Failed Career as a Writer of Grammar Lesson Books

Wrong: As a teen prostitute from the Marshall Islands, my distaste for pineapple cast me in the light of suspicion.

Right: As a teen prostitute on the Marshall Islands, my distaste for pineapple cast me in the light of suspicion.

Wrong: “Take a walk on the wild side,” Herman said with a wink, “It’s not everyday you get to have sex with a Center Square.”

Right: “Take a walk on the wild side,” Herman said with a wink, “It’s not every day you get to have sex with a Center Square.”

Wrong: Doug was not at all happy with Susan’s choice of beverage, and that she farts in church.

Right: Doug was not at all happy with Susan’s choice of beverage, and that her dog farts in church.

Wrong: For years after the affair Ted would drive aimlessly for hours on end, hoping that, if only fate intervened, their paths would cross one last time.

Right: For years after the affair Ted would drive aimlessly for hours on end, hoping that, if only fate intervened, their paths would cross one last time. One day, they did. She was killed instantly.