The Motherland: A Travelogue, Part Due

Italy is a country rich in archeological history. For instance, there are thousands of ancient churches, called "churches ancient" built by roving bands of freemasons, like Walt Disney, who now control the world's banking system. Antecedent civilizations that once trod the countryside in skimpy armored skirts, like the Etruscians, the Romans, the Sbarros, and the Crips, each left their mark on Italy's cultural landscape by building new structures on top of existing ones. Such acts yielded multi-dimentional treasures like Rome's Arc di Fatburger, Milan's La Scala Di Home Depot, and Venice's Piazza San Marco and Vacuum Cleaner Repair.

Many of the buildings in which Italians conduct their day-to-day lives are more than 1,000 years old. Residences built before the days of indoor plumbing were subsequently great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfathered into new urban building codes. Instead of showers, many Italians wash themselves under leaks in the ceiling, and utilize a separate, knee-high sink, called a bidet, for drunk Americans and Englishpeople to pee in.

Next ... The food.