Monday, May 17, 2004

The recent Online Only section of the New Yorker's site is a Q&A with a scientist searching for the elusive Giant Squid. Reading it, I couldn't help but notice the similarities between this creature of the deep and another slimy elusive beast: the media.
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FACT: No scientist ever has [seen the giant squid], which is why so little is known about its existence, but seamen have certainly come across giant squid.
FACT: Seamen have claimed to see Kevin Spacey wandering the dark piers of far western Manhattan.
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FACT: The amazing thing about the sea is that it is perhaps the last truly unexplored frontier.
FACT: Thank God, but thinking is finally on the way out for good. Now bring me the family scrapbook of my dear, dear loved ones. Oh, Bennifer, how I miss you so much.
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FACT: Others, though, believe that it lives up to its ferocious reputation; for centuries, seamen have told stories of being attacked by giant squid.
FACT: Felix Denis ate the staff of his first magazine. (Okay, unsubstantiated, but I did personally witness him once devour a live Holstein and a '75 El Camino.)
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FACT: [S]quid scientists speculate that the giant squid . . . may live only about three years and grow extremely fast.
FACT: Heh, heh, and soon to be heh.
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FACT: [The giant squid] is huge, it has tentacles, it has big eyes, and it is absolutely frightening-looking.
FACT: Holy shit.

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