What Would Long Dong Silver Drive?

A recent report found that BMW drivers get the most nookie. What about drivers of other vehicles? What are they most likely to do? Lets take a look.

Hummer: Most likely to clandestinely wipe off direct hit during corporate paint pellet game.

Subaru: Most likely to die of hypothermia three days after taking the wrong hiking trail while stoned out of their mind.

Ford: Most likely to get propositioned by the hard-looking woman hanging out in the parking lot of Buy-Rite Liquors.

Audi: Most likely to engage in rough sex with the UPS guy while wife/husband is away. (Runner up: Most likely to have an embarassing secret revealed to the firm's partners by a fellow junior associate with designs on the one senior associate spot.)

Chevrolet El Camino: Most likely to be decapitated by shrapnel while using a cutting torch on a not-quite-empty propane tank.

Dodge Dart: Most likely to put their eye out with a pellet gun.

Mercedes: Most likely to find Jesus after having engaged in sexual congress with the entire Texas A&M football squad (1988), an Oklahoma branch of the Hell's Angels during bike week in Daytona (1990), and some guy who may or may not have been named Jeff (last week).

Citroen: Most likely to hydroplane into someone's house.