How Will Bill Be Killed?

LasagnaFarm's sources in Hollywood have revealed several revenge scenarios that may be used by "The Bride" (aka, Uma Thurman) against "Bill" (David Carradine) in the latest installment (Vol. 2) of Quentin Tarrentino's "Kill Bill" series. We don't know which of the following will be that used in the actual film, but we know that, unlike "Clue" with Martin Mull, there's only one. Of course, the movie's out now, so you could just go see for yourself. Nah.

1.) She slips him a super-high dose of erectile disfunction medication and watches as he electroutes himself trying to have sex with a bubble jet printer.

2.) She forces him to listen to all of the AM Gold CDs, consecutively, and he dies of natural causes during the 1974 collection, right between "Billy Don't Be a Hero" and "The Night Chicago Died."

3.) She introduces him to Harvey Weinstein, who utters the last words Bill will hear: "Did I not fucking ask for a deli tray?" Then he crushes Bill's face with his bare hands and eats him.

4.) After disorienting Bill with a speech about why the original Burger King character was actually a proxy-concept for sexual domination, she pelts him with blood-filled balloons until he chokes to death.

5.) Bill becomes so exasperated trying to disentangle the labyrinthine storyline of "Kill Bill, Vol. 1" that he commits hiri kiri with her samurai sword.