Update: The Young Manhattanite sends The Farm a follow-up resulting from a previous Gawker Post!
Oh. My. Shitness. Get this. Tonight I got emails notifying of messages in my JDate inbox. I rarely received any during the one month I paid for a premium membership and there hasn't been a peep since I cancelled my subscription. I assumed my account was deleted but I guess profiles remain without fee.
Without hesitation I log in cause I fully suspect something juicy (I hate to reveal this of my people, but yes, there are more than a handful of girls with member names using some variation of "jewcy") awaits me due to today's Gawker post with my "Jew girls trolling the personals, pretty fuckin' beat" comments.
The reason for this expectation lies in the painful admission that my JDate profile says something like "young manhattanite, old soul. short-distance runner, long-distance thinker. part-time writer, full-time eater..." and even once cited my original Friendster departure interview. It seems very possible someone made the connection. (Also, don't mock the bio blurb. If you saw the shite on this site, you'd understand the temptation, nay, need to write like a retarded poet.)
Turns out I now have to pay a $28 monthly fee to access premium membership "benefits" again like reading messages. Jesus, why do they have to be such fuckin'...ok, I'll stop. (Sorry mom.) Anyway, of course I pay, since my curiosity is more tweaked than a drunken game of Hide-The-Afikomen. Alas, there are two messages and sure enough, first one's a dud:
"hi lower east sider,
i couldn't resist writing to a fellow david mamet fan. i loved that movie. i also live downtown. you gotta love the neighborhood!"
Young, dumb, and full of Purim. Perhaps she's trying to lure me into a date to beat the matzo balls out of me? Doubtful, but please don't gimme any shit about the Mamet crack. Everyone knows Jews love to reference other Jews. Maintaining cultural relevancy is part of our world domination plan. Though I think I hate the neighborhood now.
Second message...Yahtzenberg!
"Are you the Young Manhattanite in the interview mentioned on Gawker.com about returning to Friendster and said Jew girls trolling the personals are pretty fucking beat? If so, I'm sure you think it was clever and funny to say that but those are really hurtful and damaging words. I cannot believe anyone would attack women like that, especially of your own religion. The New York City dating scene is tough enough without assholes like you. Do us all a favor, stop pretending to be a real Jew and please don't try to date any or use us as a witty punchline."
Oy fey. Is that the Anti-Defamation League I hear knocking on my mezuzah ready to charge me with first-degree JRape? Relax, my curly-haired honeys of HymieTown! I respect you all like our tribe elders taught us, just stay on your side of the synagouge.
In all fairness, she's got a point. I wonder if she has any fake Jew friends to hook me up with.
Oh. My. Shitness. Get this. Tonight I got emails notifying of messages in my JDate inbox. I rarely received any during the one month I paid for a premium membership and there hasn't been a peep since I cancelled my subscription. I assumed my account was deleted but I guess profiles remain without fee.
Without hesitation I log in cause I fully suspect something juicy (I hate to reveal this of my people, but yes, there are more than a handful of girls with member names using some variation of "jewcy") awaits me due to today's Gawker post with my "Jew girls trolling the personals, pretty fuckin' beat" comments.
The reason for this expectation lies in the painful admission that my JDate profile says something like "young manhattanite, old soul. short-distance runner, long-distance thinker. part-time writer, full-time eater..." and even once cited my original Friendster departure interview. It seems very possible someone made the connection. (Also, don't mock the bio blurb. If you saw the shite on this site, you'd understand the temptation, nay, need to write like a retarded poet.)
Turns out I now have to pay a $28 monthly fee to access premium membership "benefits" again like reading messages. Jesus, why do they have to be such fuckin'...ok, I'll stop. (Sorry mom.) Anyway, of course I pay, since my curiosity is more tweaked than a drunken game of Hide-The-Afikomen. Alas, there are two messages and sure enough, first one's a dud:
"hi lower east sider,
i couldn't resist writing to a fellow david mamet fan. i loved that movie. i also live downtown. you gotta love the neighborhood!"
Young, dumb, and full of Purim. Perhaps she's trying to lure me into a date to beat the matzo balls out of me? Doubtful, but please don't gimme any shit about the Mamet crack. Everyone knows Jews love to reference other Jews. Maintaining cultural relevancy is part of our world domination plan. Though I think I hate the neighborhood now.
Second message...Yahtzenberg!
"Are you the Young Manhattanite in the interview mentioned on Gawker.com about returning to Friendster and said Jew girls trolling the personals are pretty fucking beat? If so, I'm sure you think it was clever and funny to say that but those are really hurtful and damaging words. I cannot believe anyone would attack women like that, especially of your own religion. The New York City dating scene is tough enough without assholes like you. Do us all a favor, stop pretending to be a real Jew and please don't try to date any or use us as a witty punchline."
Oy fey. Is that the Anti-Defamation League I hear knocking on my mezuzah ready to charge me with first-degree JRape? Relax, my curly-haired honeys of HymieTown! I respect you all like our tribe elders taught us, just stay on your side of the synagouge.
In all fairness, she's got a point. I wonder if she has any fake Jew friends to hook me up with.
posted by kiddigit at 4:45 PM
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