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Just like other big blogs and such, the Farm is attempting to capitalize on its newfound position at the height of fashion by hiring an intern. Having someone to boss around without having to pay them is a badge of honor we so wish to pin on our “I Fucked Lasagnafarm.com” t-shirts for when we hobnob with the other of the media elite at one fabulous NYC function or other. We want someone who will do our bidding without question, unlike the other stubborn people in our lives, and always with a goofy grin. Of course, as we are high-powered media professionals, there are a few requirements for the job. No exceptions:

1.) No webbed hands or feet. This is gross.
2.) A penchant for phat rhymes and 22” dubs
3.) A family recipe for bisque, proudly handed down from generation to generation.
4.) Several teeth missing
5.) The panache of a young Robert Benchley
6.) The aplomb of a young Gary Busey
7.) The Rolodex of a young Dana Giacchetto
8.) Goes "commando" several times per week
9.) Did not cry while reading Dave Eggers’ ”You Shall Know Our Velocity”
10.) Did cry while reading the novelization of Mariah Carey’s “Glitter”