If there's anything we here like at Lasagna Farm, it's cover letters that no one answers.

69 Enterprises
PO Box 1823
Van Nuys, CA 91411


Hi:

I saw your posting on the Internet at Craigslist.com and nearly peed my pants. I couldn't believe my eyes. It's all the things I've been looking for in a job: instant money, work from home, no training needed, flexible hours! The spirits are sure smiling on me, aren't they.

I'm a single mother living in Albuquerque, NM, where I have a career as a flower arranger. I am also working on a children's book and I baby-sit a few of the neighbors' kids (I use them as research. Shhhh. Ha ha.). I followed the http:// link in your posting and see that this work is primarily over the phone. Even better! I am great on the phone, just ask anyone. I wish you could hear my voice in this letter. It's the sound of a friend. I've been known to talk to telemarketers for hours because I could hear a great sadness in their voice. One of them still even calls me and I going to come visit over the holiday!

The only thing that worried me about this job was the note at the bottom of the posting that said "Must be comfortable with adult material." I'm not sure what you meant by that. Does this position involve books or educational material, because that would be great too. My acceptance letter from Albuquerque Community College (goooooo Kokopellis!) just arrived yesterday. This is certainly my week, isn't it!?!?

I hope to talk to you soon, and my phone number is at the top of my resume. Please don't call during nap time (2 p.m. to 4 p.m.). When you finally hear me talk, I guarantee you'll agree that I am perfect for this job.

Talk to you in a little while,
Emily Minkin