A Pilot Explains the Mystery You've Been Dying to Know

How do pilots get along with gay flight attendants? I would expect that many macho (often ex-military) pilots would be prone to disrespect and perhaps mistreat male cabin attendants who exhibit effeminacy. And what about gay (and lesbian) pilots? Any queers in the cockpit?

Well, pilot/flight attendant interaction, regardless of personalities or sexual orientations, tends to be businesslike and terse these days. Cockpit and cabin crews often stay in separate hotels, for instance.

But to answer the question, the word I'd go with is cordial. Cordial doesn't always mean friendly, exactly, but for the most part the interplay is very professional and free of hostility. How much of this is due to fear of litigation or getting fired, etc., is open to debate, but even that counts for something. I have never once seen or heard a pilot openly mistreat a male flight attendant. There's a degree of sarcasm and fun-poking behind the scenes, but while I don't suppose that's terribly surprising, it's a lot more tame than you'd expect. Many pilots, even the most macho Republicans, can be surprisingly open minded and easygoing. Perhaps working closely with gay co-workers over an extended period of time breaks down ingrained stereotypes.

As for gay pilots, I've worked with at least three, including a former military flier.

I've also been acquainted with three male flight attendants who eventually became airline pilots. Interestingly, none were gay as far as I know. One of them, married with kids, was killed in the crash of a cargo plane a few years ago.